More to Understand

Hello World,
      To more understand, we must go to the beginning of her life. My mom was born in 1941 while her father was serving our country abroad. There are two pics of my mom at about age 1- 1.5, one in a dress & one in overalls. I never got a clear answer to why there were two pictures from her except that my grandmother had to send my grandfather a picture of his child and he had wanted a boy but got a girl - so both poses were taken. Why? Who knows? Surely when he came back he would've seen she was a girl, so why the overall picture? I also found out later that when he did return, my grandmother did get pregnant again but loss the baby early on. So what if? & Why didn't they try again? I can only assume due to lack of money.
      My grandparents from what I remember were kind, amiable, funny people but strict and strong in their faith. People in the community loved them, especially my grandmother. She was greatly loved by all that knew her all the days of her life. My grandfather died when 1986 and my grandmother passed in 1993. I obviously not witness to her early growing up but I did see how they treated my mother for what I can remember from age 5 - 25. What I remember was my grandfather was a bit tough with his teasing of her. I know from she told me "he was mean & teased her" about weight, looks, and grades. He pressed to her that she had to be thin and always look her best - which apparently he told her she was "not that pretty" most of the time. As for weight, as most Hispanic men, they want their women to stay thin, but ironically my grandmother was a full figured woman who was a wondrous cook. As for brains, my mother quickly figured out that being smart was her ticket out of her poverty life . However, I always found it amazing that my grandparents would remind her that although she was 'book smart' she was not so smart to be better than her parents.
      The more I remember and now know as an adult was that my mother was/is a very insecure person and as prickly as they come. She had/has no sense of humor so any 'teasing' was seen as cruel or taken to heart as true. By making herself accomplished, married with wealth around her, I think she thought that would fill her soul & better herself in everyone's eyes. I do remember the last 2-3 years before my grandmother passed away, they would have so many fights. My grandmother at times would try to step in but many times shut down by my mother. She also would remind my mother to 'lighten-up' but that never happened either. I think no matter how much my mother surrounded her with stuff....my grandmother still saw through it and knocked her down. (I know that feeling).
      It may be mean to say but I have to say I enjoyed sometimes seeing my grandmother shoot my mom's arrogance down from time to time. And although she couldn't retaliate against his own mother, she could strike me down for trying to do it too. I from a very young age, have had a 'sarcastic' sense of humor but all just in good jest. My mom saw it as rude & disrespectful. I quickly learned to 'bite my tongue'. I was to some degree 'two' people. Carefree & silly at school with friends and then reserve & distant at home.
This was my life from a very early age into adulthood, I didn't fit into my own family & home.